Posts Tagged ‘inmate visitation’

Compassion in Prison?

Friday, January 29th, 2010

I just read this http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/30/nyregion/30parole.html?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter article and it brought back some chilling memories of times in the joint.  A nice old guy in the next bunk was diagnosed with lung cancer.  He was almost 80 years old and his family petitioned the BOP for a compassionate release so he could die at home with his family.  After months of trying, the man died in prison, surrounded by guards instead of family and friends.

I was walking the track one Sunday.  the sun was shining and I had just finishing leading the congregation at Mass in song.  I felt good, considering I was in prison!  Tony, my friend, had been complaining of chest pain for weeks.  The doctors (WHOA! what am I sayin’! we never saw doctors.  If we saw a PA (Physician’s Assistant) we were lucky!  Usually it was just a nurse.) Anyway, some medical person told him he would schedule him for an an EKG.  Two weeks later it still hadn’t happened.  Tony walked out onto the track that day and fell in front of me, clutching his chest and gasping for breath.  We ran for help, but, as usual, it was slow in coming.  Tony died while the guards callously stood over him and we all helplessly looked on. 

I have many, MANY such stories, but I just wanted to let you know that compassion, much like correction, does not exist in today’s prison system.  Punishment and Retribution guide the activities of prison staff, and until we can change that, society is going to continue to be plagued by repeat offenders who are initially sent to prison sorry for what they did to others, but are released ready to get even for what prison did to them.

Your Voice of CONviction,
Joe Con 

Will 2010 REALLY be a Happy New Year?

Wednesday, January 6th, 2010

If your GOODCON is still in prison I guess the answer is difficult!  No, it isn’t happy because you are still separated, you still have to bear the brunt of life on the outside and he or she is still dealin’ with the crap on the inside!  But yes you can be happy because you both just put another year of your bid in the rearview mirror!  Comment and let me know how you see it (or just vote in the poll).  

A lot of guys in with me would cross off each day on the calendar and you would walk through the halls and see the days blacked out or colored in.  And when the year changed, the guys would all sit around and talk about how much time they had done and how much they had left, what they missed the most on the outside or what they were gonna get done inside so they would be ready when their outdate finally arrived.  So New Years was pretty good each year and we usually got a group together and “celebrated” with a “special” meal some guys would prepare.  One time the Italians would make pasta in 5-gallon drums (I don’t know nothin’ about no stinger!) and meat sauce (but I never would ask what the meat was!!)  The Chinese would throw a mean stir fry together (stir-fry in a microwave? amazin’), or the Puerto Ricans would make rice and beans with fish (do I dare say mackeral,ugh!)  And then there were always those NACHOS.  Everybody thought they made the best and we would argue (ok, fight!) over whether the garbage bag or the plastic drum was the best way of makin’  ‘em. (One of these days I’ll give you the recipe for the best garbage bag Nachos on the planet so you can make your GOODCON feel really at home when he gets out!!!)

Yeah, New Years always gave us a little bit of renewed hope that our bid would really be over some day and we would be able to celebrate a Happy New Year with our family and friends.  So hey Yo, make 2010 as good as it can be by makin’  sure you visit your GOODCON a little more often this year.  He or she really needs it whether they say so or not, and if you can’t visit, send a CONCARD!!!!

Your Voice of Conviction,
Joe Con

Important Information if You’re Going to Prison or Your GOODCON Just Went In!

Wednesday, December 9th, 2009

If you’re going to prison for the first time and you’re not an arch criminal or member of The Mob or some gang, I’m sure that you’re totally unaware of what awaits you. And we’re all fearful of the unknown.  So I want to share with you the following advice.  It will help get you through the first few weeks as this will be a crucial time for you. 

 All the men or women you first meet will be sizing you up and making their own opinion of you.  Are you a good guy or a rat?  Are you an easy mark that can be used or are you able to defend yourself?  Use this info as your compass through the choppy prison waters you face.  And remember, with the support of your family and friends you can do this! 

  1. Respect is a big deal in prison.  It was the word I heard more than any other when I was in “the joint”.  So try to show it (even if you think the other guy is a jerk) as much as possible.  If you bump into someone, it’s best to say “Excuse me” or “Sorry” and keep walking  Most people won’t make a problem.  If a guy does,  don’t argue. Just keep moving.  If he persists, just remember this; you want every situation in prison to be a win-win situation.  But if it can’t be win-win, then you have to win!  Always retain your self-respect!  Being afraid is normal, but acting afraid invites trouble.  And if you don’t defend yourself, don’t expect other guys to stand up for you.
  2. Besides showing respect to people, be sure you respect their property.  Nobody has much in prison, but everyone is very protective of what they do have.  So don’t touch their stuff, eg., books, pens, jackets, and never enter their cells or sit on their bunks unless invited.
  3. Don’t be in a rush to make friends.  It’s natural for you to want to reach out to another inmate to help you when you first enter prison.  But fight the urge and hang back for a while.  You’ll find that many of the people interested in hangin’ with you are after something, so watch and listen and get a read on those around you.  Many of the people will be very different than what you’re used to on the outside.  Some will be GOODCONS like me who can give you useful information and advice.  On the other hand, the first ones who come up and want to make friends with you may be rats or predators or just idiots who nobody wants to be with, so they try to get the new guys to buddy up with them before they know any better.  Also, don’t be a joiner, because being a member of a group will make you enemies as well as friends.  Just take it slow and be pleasant with everyone.  Friendships will develop naturally between you and coworkers, teammates, members of your faith or guys in the bunks or cells around you.   In assessing people as friends, remember, “THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO WELL IN A HURRY IS MAKE A MISTAKE!”
  4. Be careful when you want to change channels on the TV, make a phone call or use a piece of workout equipment.  Ask around first to see what the “protocol” is for taking turns so you don’t get somebody all “twisted”.
  5. Unless you’re asked to join a conversation, don’t!  It’s better to start one up on your own or wait until someone asks you a question or your opinion.  And NEVER talk about your case to anyone you don’t know well.  Guys use that kind of information to spread rumors or extort money.  And besides, even GOODCONS don’t want to hear somebody whining about how bad his problems are!
  6. At main line (the dining room of prison), don’t reach across other people’s trays. Guys hate that because stuff may fall off your sleeve or you can drop something in their food.  It also gives some guys a good excuse to put you down in public and show off to their friends, and you can’t argue because your wrong! 
  7. Don’t be a rat!.  When you have to talk with correctional officers don’t even mention another prisoner because people will think you’re ratting.  And although some rats get preferential treatment from prison officials, many others end up hurt. 
  8. Don’t borrow money, gamble, or accept any gifts from guys you don’t know.  All these things can make you indebted to someone, and you don’t want to owe anybody anything in prison.  You may have to repay it in ways that I don’t even want to talk about . . . let’s just say that debt could be hazardous to your health!
  9. Maintain good hygiene habits.  Wash frequently.  If you sneeze, cover your mouth with your sleeve, not your hand.  Maintain a clean area around your bunk.  And in the bathroom, give frequent courtesy flushes so odors are kept to a minimum.  We always lived by the rule, “DROP ONE, FLUSH ONE”

10.  Finally, write and call often.  Your family and friends need to hear from you as much as you need to hear from them.  But don’t write or say anything that you wouldn’t want someone in the prison to know.  All calls are recorded and mail can be screened as well.  So save any important topics for the visiting room where you can discuss them privately, face to face.  And let visitation occur as much as possible.  Believe me, you need to be close to people who genuinely care about you and whom you can trust, and they need to see for themselves that you are doing alright.

Hey, you’ll do fine if you follow these rules . . . AND KEEP YOUR NOSE CLEAN.  You FEELIN’ ME?

Your Voice of Conviction,
Joe Con